"Please Don't Leave This Place" (Poem)

With all my forbearance mostly lost,
I ponder if everything was actually worth the cost;
I’ve been inundated for so long, preoccupied with this notion,
And everything seems to float by me in slow motion—
Sinking down into the abyss of apathetic indifference.

Numbness has seized my soul for far too long;
This feeling emanates from the source of everything wrong.
Yet, I am so exasperated with even the slightest breath;
But, still, I claw up this mountain’s seemingly endless crest,
Just to take that feeling away—I don’t want to feel it anymore.

I’m not inured to this invidious test;

You make me so irresolute—my thoughts—I can only inchoately express.
You provoke such irascible thought;
My itinerant mind can’t stop wandering to the place it once so often sought—
It has been so long, and we were both so young;

I still see you in my reflection,

Still a part of me, my past, and perhaps a portion of my best projections.
You still have hurt me more than anyone has before;
And yet, you sacrificed us to have everything I thought I lost…restored,
Just to take the feeling away—I don’t want to feel it anymore.

I often see you in my dreams;

It is my only chance to grieve you, in midst of effervescent and radiant beams.
Although equitable justice seemed to just pass you by,
Your ephemeral time here has merely justified those severed confines,
Which exculpates this execrable blame, and offers me another dream;

My world doesn’t seem as real anymore,

Since you evanescently dissipated from all those you adore.
Your emancipation no longer fetters this notion of my soul.
You are here with me now, your memory, forever, in my control,
Just to take that feeling away—I don’t want to feel it anymore.

For those you watch, for those you grieve,

Those same angels, who guided you in, now dwell with me.
Carrying these words, which steer them to you as their rudder.
These are those last words I never really had the chance to utter.
“Don’t go.  Please don’t leave this place…”